Simple Wellness: Soft Living (Part 2 of 2)
By Paul Cavel
In my previous post, we explore the term soft living—a work/life philosophy that creates balance and healthy boundaries to reduce stress and burnout, so you can discover and live your deeper purpose. Though modern in thought, the term soft living has characteristics which underpin ancient Water Method teachings.
The Principle of Thirds
The tenets of the Water Method were encapsulated by the great sage Lao Tzu 2,500 years ago in the Tao Te Ching manuscript. These writings outline an approach that advocates against pushing and struggling through life and instead recommends relaxing, letting go and going with the flow. With this in mind, practitioners of the Water Method live according to the Principle of Thirds, which states that any activity – physical or mental – should only been done to two-thirds of your capacity. This leaves one-third in reserve and as this reserve grows, day by day, so too does your capacity, what defines your personal two-thirds limit.
Only using half of your effort will slow down your progress considerably, while pushing far beyond your two-thirds capacity will deplete your energy, or force you to borrow from tomorrow’s reserves. Learning how to find and stay within your comfortable two-thirds range allows you to be effective in the world without neutralizing your long-term staying power. The Principle of Thirds has served millions of people throughout the ages to live balanced, fruitful and pleasant lives.
Welcome to the Present Moment
However, living moderately in a society of overachievers is no easy feat – we are all pulled along by the slipstream. There is mass conditioning not only to work, but to work harder and longer than others. When my students and clients finally realize that looking outside for external validation – instead of looking inside, where the answers truly lie – is the source of their underlying frustration, disappointment, low self-esteem and unrealistic expectations, most of them experience a profound, self-initiated transformation. They begin to do less, yet learn and refine pragmatic strategies for accomplishing more. Their lives stop being defined by what they do and they become more relaxed. This relaxation permeates their physicality, their emotions, their mind and their approach to fulfilling their deeper purpose, without the angst that plagues modern society. All healing, all progress takes place in the present moment – you cannot change the past nor dictate the future. Yet many of us are not present to the here and now, and this limits our capacity and sense of well-being.
I am not here to tell you that once you find this old approach to life that everything will be roses, but what I have seen in hundreds of students and clients in three decades of my own healing and training journey is that people become more grounded in themselves and begin making better decisions about their health, their family, their work, their social experiences, choices that are in alignment with what actually feels right internally. Until you reach this point of recognition, you cannot overcome your conditioning as you cannot tell the difference between what is your hope and dream versus someone else’s idea of what is good for you. All the time you are running the hamster wheel, the stress cycles will prevent you from finding the space to reflect and gain perspective.
Nothing to Fear Except
And what’s behind all the pushing anyway? Underneath the drive, behind the insanity of forcing ourselves into ill health and burnout is fear: the fear of losing our job, our home, the respect and admiration of our peers and collogues, the fear of failing – of being shamed. We all must confront our fears. To the degree that you do, you can relax into living within your two-thirds of capacity and engage with the natural flow of life. Fear freezes the body and mind. When that fear is released, the body and mind open and are free to flow with new opportunities, new paths become visible and available to you. Becoming familiar with what you are afraid of and knowing your fears goes far to stop them from controlling you. When you make decisions from a place of fear, it limits your true potential. When you reclaim that space, that blackhole of the unknown, time, freedom and peace naturally begin to emerge.
Summary
Soft living is truly going against the tide of society, but more and more people are waking up to the fact that they want to get back to being a human being instead of a human doing. Finding your flow allows you to align with the cosmos, which can open up possibilities you haven’t even dreamed up yet. The Water Method teaches people how to follow, blend and meld with the natural flows, giving you pragmatic strategies to live softly.
“Nature does not hurry, yet everything is accomplished.”